PDF Ebook Infidelity: Why Men and Women Cheat, by Kenneth Paul Rosenberg
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Infidelity: Why Men and Women Cheat, by Kenneth Paul Rosenberg
PDF Ebook Infidelity: Why Men and Women Cheat, by Kenneth Paul Rosenberg
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Review
"Finally, a brilliant treatise by a leading MD psychiatrist on the Lucifer of relationships: infidelity. Dr. Rosenberg uses the newest data from neuroscience and sex and addiction research to tell us who, why, when and where people cheat, then gives us some clear-headed and sophisticated advice on how to survive, indeed even thrive, after the affair. It's an essential read."―Dr. Helen Fisher, The Kinsey Institute"Straightforward, sex-positive, and comprehensive, Dr. Rosenberg's guide for couples confronting infidelity can help them restore their relationship and sex life."―Dr. Alexandra Katehakis, author of Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Meditations on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence"Filled with common sense tips for those caught in the tangled webs we weave with betrayal. As a working psychiatrist with specialties in addiction and sexuality, Dr. Rosenberg combines the best of current science on the brain, human intimacy, and mental health issues."―Dr. Patrick Carnes, author of Out of the Shadows"A timely, intimate, authoritative, and always fascinating look at a vexing problem, why people cheat on partners they love."―Peter D. Kramer, author of Ordinarily Well, Should You Leave? and Listening to Prozac"A must-read, insightful, well-written book on a timely and important topic."―Bruce Roseman, MD, Family Doctor, Assistant Professor of Family Medicine and OB-GYN at Mount Sinai Hospital, New York, NY"[An] eye-opening book...Delves deep into the roles that biology, psychology, and cultural norms can all play when it comes to infidelity and its repercussions...A must-read for those who have found themselves dealing with an affair."―Celebrity Parents Magazine"In addition to using data from the therapy sessions with the unfaithful and their wronged spouses Dr. Rosenberg brings to bear a broader perspective from contemporary research in biology, genetics, psychiatry, and so forth to demonstrate 'the science behind sexual betrayal, including the fact that our brains are actually wired to be addicted to sex.'"―New York Journal of Books
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About the Author
Dr. Kenneth Rosenberg is a leading expert in addictions and compulsive sex. He is board-certified addiction psychiatrist, certified sex addiction counselor and co-editor of a landmark text on behavioral addictions. He maintains a private practice in Manhattan.
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Product details
Hardcover: 288 pages
Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books (May 15, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780738220222
ISBN-13: 978-0738220222
ASIN: 0738220221
Product Dimensions:
5.9 x 1 x 8.6 inches
Shipping Weight: 13.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.0 out of 5 stars
18 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#985,563 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I thought this would offer NEW insights into the neurobiology and psychology of cheating since the description refers to “the latest scienceâ€, but I found nothing new. It goes over studies and surveys on sexual behavior and the neurobiology of attraction, some of which are decades old. It also looks at the neurobiology of addiction. Both sexual infidelity and emotional infidelity are discussed. The book offers Rosenberg’s recommendations on how to proceed in your relationship after an affair.It did seem to me that Rosenberg considered cheating to be something nearly anyone would do and I disagree with that. My own personal experience, as a spouse, and surveys (which admittedly are a long way from perfect) is that some people just don’t cheat, despite a lifetime of opportunity. Rosenberg tells us in the Introduction that if his own father could cheat, he realized that a lot of decent people could easily cheat. I myself don’t take Rosenberg’s father as some sort of yardstick by which to measure others and their deeds. This made me wary of any conclusions Rosenberg came to.Overall, this seems like a reasonable, basic review of the science of cheating that is presented in a way that is appealing to someone who has cheated.But that’s JustMe.
I wanted to read this book because of the promise to shed new information based on what we now know about brain biology, neuroscience and addiction theory. The subtitle says it is about why men and women cheat but the book is heavily about male cheaters and is written by a male psychiatrist whose early career was at Johns Hopkins workkng with the sexual addiction department.Part one is about biology and in this section makes the argument that our brains and our human drive to reproduce is behind human behavior. On page 15 Dr. Rosenberg explains that marriage and relationship experts don’t understand the biology and that they are ignorant about neuroscience, so he does not like recommendations from ignorant therapists or other ignorant health care professionals. On page 23 he says that after 30 years in practice he feels that the major problem with cheaters is that they have too much desire.The book uses easy to understand language to explain things such as the limbic system of the brain and the dopamine receptors role in the desire to have physical relationships with multiple people. The role of thrill is examined and later in the book a link to thrill seeking personalities and ADHD to frequent cheaters is explained. Also discussed is the emotional affair. I was annoyed on page 55 when the role of oxytocin is discussed and he fails to explain the female experience of oxytocin and prolactin and breast-feeding regarding the desire to parent and take care of the young. This is another example of his bias towards males to not represent the female experience, to only discuss the male biology. In part two is an exploration of porn and different kinds of encounters i.e. kink, than what is in our typical American traditional relationships. Although he does say that in the last 20 years females who are young are changing their outlook due to different attitudes on freedoms, and claims those young females are more upset over the emotional betrayal of a cheating in the relationship than being upset over the physical part of cheating.Part three focuses on what happens when a partner discovers the cheating how to heal and move forward. This also addresses when sometimes a spouse may choose to end the relationship.I am not well read on this topic thankfully I do not need it in my own life, I am curious about the brain and biology versus societal standards and norms amd religion’s intersection with hormones and brain biology. I am torn about rating this book between a 3 and a 4, will rate it a 4 as I did learn things. I feel it does not tell the biological or emotional side of the female though. Dr. Rosenberg seems to work with just men and defends them.
As a monogamous male -- married 42 years to one woman and now six years into a committed relationship with another woman after my wife died -- I've sometimes been curious about what my married friends found interesting about cheating on their wives or husbands.This appears to be a pretty comprehensive overview, and I found all three parts interesting to one degree or another: biology and the basics, the taste for a new affair, and discovery, disclosure, and healing.Didn't make actually trying cheating any more appealing though.Robert C. RossJuly 2018
This book is split into three parts: biology and the basics, the taste for a new affair, as well as discovery, disclosure, and healing. What intrigued me about this book is reading about what differentiates cheaters from non-cheaters, and the author does break down the differences (including the character traits that make people cheaters, such as narcissism, the lack of empathy, grandiosity, impulsivity, thrill seeking, avoiding attachment, and self-destruction or masochism). There's also a discussion about gender differences based on studies, as well as whether men and women could be just friends, the pitfalls of emotional affairs, and even a look at those who seek diversity in their physical relations (whether style-wise or partner-wise). The writing style is easy to read and direct. Overall, an interesting analysis of the subject.
I appreciate the nuanced approach this book takes. I was particularly tickled by the introduction which sets the stage with a discussion that is long overdue in psychology-- labeling and classifying people into neat, discrete buckets when it's painfully clear that most disorders are continuums.If you're an emotionally sophisticated person some of the material here will not include news, in fact, I will daresay most of it will not be. The books primary value is collecting much information in one place.If you'd like the simple answer, people cheat because they're unfulfilled and because it's our nature to do so. Your partner probably doesn't even know his or her own needs.For the longer answer, I'd suggest reading.
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